Steps to success:
Write in the first person. □
Use time connectives. □
Use adverbial phrases. □
Describe the world you are in. □
Include a simile, metaphor and personification. □
Describe your feelings as E.T. □
Write in paragraphs. □
Carrdyke Federation Blog
Walcott Primary School & Mrs Mary King's C of E Primary School
Today we arrived on this strange blue planet called earth.once we had landed we had a look around and I saw a plant and I picked it , I herd crickets and I herd something eerily. After a while I hid behind a bush then cars pulled up. After a moment men were coming out of there cars then suddenly they saw me and chased me I was running to my ship however I was to late.
I felt like my hart was broken and like I was abandoned and alone. Then I had a little wonder and I found some shelter in a shed. Then I saw a earthling (who had hair) so I rolled a ball to him and he just ran off in side a little house and I saw the moon and it was misty and I saw bright lights. Then suddenly loads of earthlings came to the shed. Then I hid in a cupped then a few minuets later they went back inside then I put my hands around the door and I was breathing heavily. Then I went in a corn field. Suddenly the earthling came back and screamed my head off and the earthling ran off.
Today we landed our mothership on a planet named earth. I went of in to the woods on my own. It was very strange indeed. All of a sudden,cars came crashing into the woods earthlings stepped out
and chased me around.
Then I ran back to the ufo but I was to late it abandoned me.so here I am on my own on earth. The night sky was as black as a bat. As the ufo left lights flickered everywhere.i was terrified…
I had to hide somewhere. So I hid in a shed. Then a small earthling threw a white circular object at me so I threw It back. Then it ran off. All of a sudden, young earthlings came out with sharp objects in their hands.
It was frightening. But I was safe.the moon was still starring at earth.that night I heard barking.
I hid because an other person came they didn’t see me until…
It wondered in to the corn and saw me and screamed. And that was in my face. Then I scuttled up a hill and nocked a few things but that’s ok.but the good thing is I’m still alive.
Dear diary,
My space shuttle flew around a planet known as Earth, and I decided to land there. In a hurry, the shuttle crashed onto earth. We were stuck there forever. As we stepped out of the shuttle, I could feel the brown mud and muck in my three toes. Seven in total. And two fingers. Five in total. Three toes on each hand, and two fingers on each foot. Or is it Three fingers on the foot…? I don’t know. Anyway, the damp floor is so sloppy and gooey! All The planets Ive been to has no sloppy or gooey floor. Then I saw a shiny object. I walked towords it. There was a seefroo cup. Then some cars came.i was terrified and ran for my life. I hid behind a tall grass to hide from them but my red jewel glowed red. I squealed and cried but I was to late. My shuttle had left me!
Because my shuttle left Me I had a frog in my froat. I was really scared so this is how I survived-> steps to find the perfect hiding spot: step 1: decide what time of place you will hide. Step 2: camouflage in objects to find the place to hide. Step 3: hide in that perfect place. And finally step 4: make sure it is the best place of the kind.
They were the steps for a good hiding spot. I hope you like them. I made them on. My own.
Now I’m feeling terrified. My time (hiding time) was agsacly 7 minutes. (Really it was 5 but who cares). The air was as smelly as the world itself. The world seemed to be bouncing up and down when you are in it! It has been a long day, and the moon is half (cresent). Suddenly I heard a noise. A noise of an earthling (we call them earthlings because they live on earth and they ling there) earth for were they live and ling for ling (sounds funny but it’s right). Anyway, the earth ling was coming out of a place known as a house. It was carrying something known as a pitsa. (I like that spelling. It’s funny!). He ran inside and Led out more earthlings. They looked in to where I was and found one of my paw-prints.
It was soon the time where they were all asleep, but I was wrong! The first one came trotting out of the house holding a bright light known as a torch. A bright torch as bright as a twinkling star. He slowly walked up to me. Every minute he got closer and closer. Until he stroked away the last pieces of grass and BOOM! He found me! I had a very wird face when I got spooked be him. I think he got spooked by me to!my hart raced as I saw the end of the zone he was in. I may have bumped in to a couple of things but I was only just faster than him by about 4 seconds (really he was 1 second faster). It was hart breaking to see me leave him alone in the darkness. I had no idea earthlings could be so fussy with these things. (I mean the dark. Alough that doesn’t make sense.) I don’t make sense and I might never will.
It was at late at night. They was getting out of there car. The object was scared. He ran and ran he didn’t get away. He was very scared. He didn’t now what to do. I am going to go back to my spay ship. It’s left I do not no what to do I was crying I was sad.
I was in a dirty shed. They was flickering. I was scared in the shed. I was cold every time. They was crickets what cape me not very asleep.
Very good story joseph well done!
Very good Joseph 🙂 well done
Today, when I landed I stepped out of my space ship. I saw weird standing up things and I walked towards it I thought it would hurt me but, when I touched it it stood still liked it had been frozen. When I walked threw the ugly forest I felt as frightened as a tiny mouse getting chased by a funny looking flying bird with feathers. 29 steps later I saw a flickering light and wondered, what it was so I ran towards it. Then I came to a halt because I came to the edge of a hill. I stared for about 10 minutes, then something the life out of me! To driving objects came skidding round the corner quickly and they came to a halt as tire marks wrecked up the ground badly. The lights on the objects stunned me as I fell to the ground behind tall green grass. That was lucky I fell behind the grass.
When I opened my eyes I saw queer figures shining their bright torches at me. I screamed as loud as I, could to hopefully scare them away, but it did’t work no it did’t they saw me and ran as fast as I possibly could my heart was racing as fast as the space ship going over 2,000 miles per hour. I dogged the weird standing up thing and my mum alien shouted to me saying we’re taking off. When I thought I was going the right way I wasn’t I went the total wrong way it took off and left me behind I was lonely and scared. I hid in a small room with watering cans and other stuff in. All I was thinking of is my proper home. I looked back and saw nothing the strange figures stopped chasing me.
2 hours later, I walked back outside threw the long grass I walked. Then something walked towards me it was a other Earthling. It pulled the long grass back and it finally saw me it screamed in my face. The figure was as scary as Godzilla roaring. I saw I ran I nocked over a metal bin and a plant pots. I finally got away.
Very good story 🙂
A spaceship left and it was my friends. When my friends left I felt alone. I arrived on this strange planet. It was as dark as the night sky. I never saw anything like it. I saw these things standing up right. You could hear quite crickets. Then I had this thing screamed in face. Then I hid. I was as scared as a lion chasing me.
For quite some time people were chasing me. I screamed as loud as I possibly could to try scare them away but it didn’t work. Instead they just carried on running towards me and I bumped into a few things.A couple minutes later, I walked threw the long green grass back home after a boring day.
The first time I landed on the blue planet earth I was very skaird and some green spiky stuff was rubbing against my paws I was hungry so danechly I left the mothership.I went to get a thing in some brown wet stuff trying to pick it out hurt a sound coming from blow I lucked down and I saw some
Flashing thing it shined like planted Mars . I herd a nors coming from behind me I ran to a bush fore earthling suddenly spoted me Ieged it . I ran as lighting.
Today we landed on this strange blue planet called Earth. When we landed I got sidetracked by the light. When I was looking at the light I heard something, and I thought It was coming from the place the lights came from. When I found out we’re it was coming from I as fast as the speed of light. I ran and ran until I thought I was safe. And obviously I was not safe because when turned around around the spacecraft had left.
The moon shon as bright as the sun. I breathed heavily as I calmed down because of what happened before I got here. I looked around and I now know were I was I was in the the place were the lights came from.
Today I arrived on a strange planet called Earth there it was night. It was terrifying to be in this new unexplored environment. I was told that I had to stay with the group of aliens that came with me. The group and I set of through the dark forest. We reached the edge of a steep rocky cliff when I became distracted by some bright flickering lights. I looked on in amazement.
I turned around unaware of how long I had been there. The group had gone. Suddenly I was blinded me. Even though I was unable to see very well I still managed to make it to safety behind a bush. I looked at the objects they where cars and earthlings were looking around with lights in there hands. I stood frozen as the lights swept towards me. My chest started glowing the group were leaving Earth. I ran as fast as I could I felt like the trees where trying to grab me. The earthlings not far behind.
Just as I reached the clearing where the spacecraft had landed it took of so I ran into a shed and hid there. I felt abandoned. Suddenly a strange round object rolled into the shed. I heard an earthling approaching so I threw it out. I heard the earthling run back into the strangely designed place where it lived. A few minuets later the earthling came back with a group of earthlings. The group of earthlings had knives.
Dear diary,
Today we all launched to the planet Earth to find out how the earthlings live. We also want to know a lot about their hairy or not hairy things. When we landed I looked out of the window of are bright spaceship. After a while of celebrating I snook out of the spaceship I was fascinated by how wet and cold it was. I saw this thing that was prickly and green. I picked it up maybe it was a type of food the earthlings ate I thought to my self. I chewed of a piece then another and before I new it it was all gone. This is one of the things they eat surly. I wondered of deep into this strange land. I looked behind some green things. There were mesmerising lights every where. Then I was disturbed by something on the brown tracks.
They were things with round wheels and a thing on top. Suddenly earthlings pored out of the cars like something called water. They had these light things that were round. My lungs pumping oxygen pumping in my cold blue blood and my heart pumping blood around faster then it could keep up with. They thought that I was evil like an android gone wrong. Their lights flashed over me. In panic I let out out a rally Loud screech then I heard the spaceship signal. I ran as fast as I could away from the earthlings to my spaceship when I got back to the spaceship it had gone with know good byes. Now the only thing I could do is live in the human world.
I thought I would live in a thing made of wood. You know it was comfortable on that bad of sand, but it was placed where the lights would burn my eyes to a crisp. I also liked the smell of dampness of the wooden place and the taste of those eight legged things. As well as all of them I liked the round things in the bin called pizzas. I all ways heard the dog barking. But I felt abandoned like my heart was squashed like a watermelon. After all my friends had left me. Then I heard the gate open it was the little earthling. I through a rubber ball at him. He was quite scared. He went in to get his brothers I thought I was going to die.
The brothers came out with this metal sharp thing I hid under the table in the the wood thing. They came in one by one with pink skin with things coming out of their head. Luckily their mum said in. She saved my life I owe her. That night terrified I went into the corn field to hide. A while later, I heard the branches snapping. It was the young earthling the earthling screamed in my face so I did I he ran away I’m a very very lucky alien.
Today I arrived on a unusual planet called Earth or was it Erth? No defiantly Earth. I clambered out of my unidentified flying object (UFO) and looked around this strange place. I had never heard of Earth before, so this was all new to me. I looked over at a cliff thingy, well that what I think Earthlings call it. While I was looking at the cliff, some bright lights caught my eye. They were on tall round thin poles, however they looked beautiful. As I stared at the lights, some strange vehicles on wheels appeared.
They blocked me in. Without hesitation, I ran as quickly as my little wrinkle legs would carry me. Then I hid behind a bush. Some big Earthlings got out of the wheely vehicles. I could hear myself starting to breathe heavily, when the Earthlings got their torches out and started looking around for me. Then something even worse started to happen! My tummy started to glow red. When my tummy glows red, it means I am frightened. I started to run towards my space ship, however it left without me as soon as I got there.
Then the Earthlings thought I’d gone and left! So maybe my space ship leaving was a little bit good for me, but I was still on my own.
Moments later I found my self walking towards a big house thing. As I carefully walked to house trying hear not to make a noise, I felt abandoned and lonely, because all of my family and friends had walked off and I didn’t pay any attention to them. The moon thing danced in the pitch black sky. The sky was as black as a deep dark hole in the ground. I crept into the back garden of the house and hid in a hut thing with a strange round circler object that bounced. What could it be?
Meanwhile, a quit small Earthling ran inside, or should I say it almost went inside, when I made a noise! He quietly tiptoed towards me. I had to think fast. Then I through the bouncy object at him and he ran. I felt revealed that he didn’t see me, but he went to tell his family.
Today I arrived at this strange place that is called Earth which has tall and small Earthlings and also they have a forest, which is were I going to start. A few minutes later I am walking down the wet muddy grass yuk. I did regret going there for time to time. Then I spotted they’s bright and beautiful light that looked so pretty however, there was smell was filling the air with gas.
Then out of nowhere they’s big machine came and ripped up the floor to tiny pice it was like cutting paper to tiny pieces as well. The headlight of the machines were like fire workers going off. There where loads of Earthlings now were chasing me then my unidentified flying object(UFO)was about to live so I tried to run as fast as lightning. But I didn’t. My home was gone for good. There was no going back.
Now I am on where I found shelter
I was cold so I found a shelter Which was all right but still I could of found some comfy place then this. Then a Earthling came to were I was then I knew it would be one. So I though a ball cause if he got any Feather our he would of seen me. A minute later there were more people all I could hire was footsteps and Earthling noises then it went back to no noise at all. So I went to some long grass and hid behind it. Then I could hear footstep to then some one came closer and opened the grass then we both screamed and I ran as fast as I could.
Tonight I landed on a strange planet and it was called earth. It was like living with a nother Eilein. The strange object set of. some cars apeird the lights on the car blinded me so I hid in the wavy gras I was trying to get to the object but it was to late the object went bac.ther was A earthling walking across the ground. I crept into a wooden shed the earthing came To the shed he throu a bal at me so I thou it bac.the earthling was in shok because
The bal came bac.
I hid in the wavy gras and the earthling folowed me. When he folowed me we looked at each Other we skared each other and it gave me a shok. The earthling ran for his life because I skared him
Today we arrived at a strange and weird blue planet known as Earth. Then I went to look around. Suddenly 4 strange object with 4 round circular things on the bottom of it. Then bright red shiny things hurt my eyes. Then 8 weird earthlings came out of the strange object. I had got addicted and mesmerised at the headlights not knowing that they were trying to get me. The earthlings were chasing me as I was running as fast as I could.I screamed and skidding over this weird gooey stuff. Bright things shone in my eyes. I was having fun because they were like what’s that however I was scared. My chest was glowing red which was a sign saying we’re leaving I ran but then the ufo bars were closing. I was left behind so I hid behind this green bushy thing and It kept hurting me so I hid behind a rocky sort of thing. My heart had dropped
After an hour The men had finally gone.The rattling silver things rattled as they were walking. I picked a green thing up and ate it so I could run faster. I looked around this strange place I took a step forward then I ran because I heard something in the distance. It sounded like a creature coming closer and closer and it was a little green thing chasing me. I think it was because nobody knows who I am. Earthlings think I am stupid and think I dumb. More strange noises were heard. I stood still in fear.
Moments later I had found a shelter to stay in at night. I was still scared about the earthlings. I think there are som watching me right now but there not. So I decided to get some rest. After I woke up I heard more noises of them green things. My fear followed me every were I went.surrounding me was a big yellow field and a bright reflecting thing above my head. A white cloud went over me also I was shivering because I was in fear and I was cold.
A few minutes Then a ball rolled to my feet I thought to myself shall I pick up the ball and role it back or not I was scared so I picked up the ball and heard a scream. I knew what was coming. Then this strange thing that chucked a ball at me screamed and ran away
Today we landed on a stretch planet now as Earth.Yes something did cause I’m eye when I was pulling the plant out but I still pulled it out.After I finish I went to look it was a good time suddenly, some strange people came out of a stretch thing it had 2 mirror I had no Idea what it was. I ran and find a place to hide but I now it was to late.
It felt like I have been trying to find a new home for an hour (it has been 5 minutes) in the morning I found a home.But when it was night a boy came out and throw a ball at me so I throw it back.The boy was scared so he ran into the house and I just looked up at the star.I was very very sad.
Well done Oakley it was amazing
try use similes personifacation and try use a metaphor
WOW! Oakley that was fantastic. 🙂 .
you need to make sure your first paragraph makes sense and add some metaphors.
I arrived in a planet, which I have never seen before. There where so many objects surrounding me, I didn’t know what any of these things where. seconds later, cars where drifting around the corners of the road then breaking, making tire marks on the road. Nearly breaking the road. I didn’t know this object but it looked like it had four wheels and a roof.
Meanwhile, something caught my eye, it was lights shining like the moon on fire. I was as scared as a mouse being chased by a cat. They had a strange light which they where shinning at me. Seconds later, I started to run faster than a cheater, screaming louder than a banshee. They were chasing me down the never ending woods. It was like I was in a square.
Later i looked at the trees dancing in the wind. The sky was like a blanket covering the sky. Minutes later, i went into a little shed, hiding for 20 minutes. Then i started to hear loud sounds coming from, a weird thing made out of bricks. After that I saw a earthling, so I found a ball a slowly rolled it towards him.
Seconds later.
i started to run back inside. Then more people where coming, some where even holding knifes I was petrified. I felt like it would Be the end of me. So I tried not to move and luckily they didn’t see me. So I stayed in there for hours and hours.
I saw this earthling riding an object with two wheels looking around. I thought for a second, and I think he was looking for me. The cotton wool clouds danced in the sky slowly. The sky was like a blue pillow bursted into fluff. Minutes later he found me I started to scream so did the earthling. Seconds later, I hid somewhere else. So the the boy started to runback inside.
I felt like I was about to faint because of all the things which where happening. This planet was nowhere near like are planet so many different objects. I wonder why they abandoned me? I thought to my self all these earthlings won’t to hurt me why though? So I waited in the shed lonely wishing I could get back home.
There were so many things going on like people screaming and me nearly dying it was very scary. I think I had the worst time of my life because of what was happening. I think I am going to haft to get used to this planet. Every thing was going wrong today this would never normally happen at are planet.
Today, me and my siblings landed on the blue planet, which is to be known as planet Earth, with a bit of a rough landing, for there were lots of hard and oddly shaped objects underneath our flying transportation device. High up in the air there was the planet known to be made out of cheese (Moon), and it seemed to be wandering around space like me down here.
Out of nowhere, some ground transportation devices rushed towards me about to squash me as I felt my life was over, when I dived out of the way and landed behind some tall weeds planted in the sky black soil. This was the luckiest I’ve been since I won a voucher for a free Mars shake! Some earthlings got out of the devices and they were as scary as a monster from the dark side of the cheese planet.
I was hiding in fear, meanwhile I heard the sound of our transportation device taking off. I had been abandoned. The only thing that meant to me was family and now they’re gone!
Today I landed on planet earth. As I stepped out of my ship there was a strange thing standing up. I stated to walk to the edge of a high mountain and as I stated to look down I saw bright things shining at me. I was amazed as I saw this beautiful sight.
There were some kind of thing on wheels coming to a halt. I didn’t know what they were but I was scared anyway. I hid behind a bush it made a sound and the earthlings spotted me. My heart was beating loudly. I felt peterfied. I couldn’t get to my ship in time it had set off because I am small I can hide in the long weavey grass and that is what I did. They couldn’t find me. I was broken harted. I was the only alien in the worlds.
I carried on walking and something caught my eye it was the moon.
well done Zara! 🙂 I liked the part when you said ‘i felt petrified’ i like it because it is a short dramatic sentence.
check your spellings and make sure it makes sense. good try 🙁
Today I arrived, very curious of what would happen next. As soon as I stepped out of my U.F.O. I felt dead. I was in a very strange planet called Earth. I saw some tall, brown things with some bushy, green things on top. I kept on walking until I saw a bright light coming towards me! I ran as fast as I could. Then I decided to hide in a bush. I tried to communicate with my siblings but when I lit up the earthlings found me. So I ran as fast as I could towards my U.F.O. But it was to late. My friends and family had took off without me. I stared as they took of.
I felt abandoned. What will I do now? Will this be the end? Will I ever see them again? I had so many questions but no answers. I am the loneliest alien in the world. In fact I am the ONLY alien in the world. Eventually I found my way out of the forest but unfortunately I didn’t find my family or friends while I was in the forest. I kept on searching around this planet. I went inside a shed and used it as shelter. Then I saw something outside the shed. It looked a bit like an earthling. All of a sudden, something flew in to the shed. So I picked it up and shot it back out to the earthling. Then I saw a huge group of earthlings coming towards me so I hid inside a bin because then they wouldn’t be able to find me. The earthlings ran away and I came back out I was wondering what was going to happen to me since I have no one to care for me.