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Sword & Sworcery Tale
Opening
One upon a time in a mythical place called Scythia, the trees danced in the air like a bird flapping its wings. The land was covered in thick black fog. The land was filled with blinding dust however nit many people live there so it doesn’t really matter. The ground crumbled as if it had a really bad cough. Hardly any people were in the country because it was so bare.
In this land lived a boy named Samzeezar. He spawned in the middle of the woods. He was covered in armour, he looked like an armadillo. He always made sure he was always behind his dog named Kevin. Kevin had lots of coloured spots like a Dalmatian. In the second world he meets somebody named log fellow. Log fellow was hairy and old. Samzeezar always followed log fellow just like he followed Kevin.
He has a fight with a fury mutt thing. The fury mutt thing ran away in shame and terror. There is a world were there is a statue of a face and you have to put all the clues together to open the mouth and walk in. There is two worlds before the life ending fight…
Build up
A thick grey cloud covered the bare land. It started to rain. It rained heavily and gradually turned into a storm. It thundered lightning made a crackle and it seemed like the world was going to end. Samzeezar (the hero)was told to fetch the megatome. At first he didn’t know what the megatome was until a stranger told him a story about the megatome. Long long ago the megatome belonged to our village until the deathless spectre stole he didn’t only steal the megatome he stole all of my families souls. Ever since we do not know where the megatome is. Please Samzeezar are you brave enough to do the life ending travel. Yea I’m ready. Oh thank you we ow you one.
By Connor
Well done Connor. I think you have done well. From Paige
It’s amazing Connor. From Matthew 😎
i like your opening Connor. From Alex
The sword tale
Opening
In a land of darkness the moon shone brightly. The only light in the land. The wind blow the swaying trees. The terrible thunder storm covered the land. It will always be black because…
Sally landed on a rocky path. As Sally tiptoed onwards she saw a dog but it was not a normal dog it looked like it was made of blocks. Sally looked all around her but all she could see is the darkness. After a Long walk Sally saw some steps, she went up and saw someone chopping wood. When Sally got there the mysterious man stop and looked at Sally. The darkness around her was too dark for the man to see her but the man was the woodcutter. So he carried on working. Sally walked on the path again until she saw a cave.
The entrance of the cave was dark and gloomy. Sally was a bit scared. The cave was dark that Sally couldn’t see anything. The cave was a gigantic. The walls were winkle like a old granny hand. The path was as narrow as timberland road. When Sally gazed in she saw a statue. It looked like a prince.
Build up
Sally walked into the dark gloomy cave. The walls were just so old and wrinkly like all the other cave she been in. In front of her was a statue and in front of the Statue was the book the wood copper told Sally to get. When she stepped forward the statue came to life…
Sally was shaking with fear. The wood chopper warned Sally about the monster. Sally was thinking how can a statue came to life? She was terrified. Sally made the hardest choice of her life take the book and run…
By Milly
Wow Milly lots of good description I like in a land of darkness… Next time try not to use Sally too much 🙂 from Billy
Thanks I think I did use Sally too much. Milly
How nice
Well done Milly! 🙂 Try not to repeat yourself too much. (With the word Sally) but I really enjoyed reading that great piece of writing. From Tiffany 🙂
I like your idea about the statue coming alive.
Alex
Sword and Sworcery
Opening
It all began when he fell in a lost world he didn’t know where to go but then he saw a strange creature. he was cautious when he saw it because it came and he thought it tried to tell me to follow it. So he did and that’s how the quest began.
Build up
Well he went into this kind of land of the lost so he followed the kind of dog and it led me to a girl in a field, full of sheep and she just sat on a brick and she told me her name was girl. She said she lived on her own, so he asked her if she wanted to come with me and dog ,but she said that she had to look after her sheep. So he said that’s ok so we carried on our quest. We found loads of wood just piled up in a big mess, a man came out of a kind of cottage, he said “hello can I ofer you some wood” . She said” no thank you” he asked him if he wanted to come with us on our quest he said “yes” and he didn’t follow dog so he was assuming that he knew where he was going so he came to a kind of wolf. He was fighting it and fighting it and eventually killed it. So we stopped at a kind of cave so he went into a door and it led me to another door.
Dilemma
Suddenly when he got outside a storm came out of nowhere. Just to warn you that if you go into light the deathless specter gets faster. You must form a spell to defeat him. If you get out the megatone you can read peoples minds.
Resolution
If you find a sylthan sprite you must get out the megatome and lead it to the sky. Create a spell and turn the deathless specter.
By Annabel
Very good Annabel I like how you have used speech. Look out for capital letters because at the start of your second sentence, he doesn’t have a capital letter. From Libby 🙂
Well done Annabel. Next time make sure you have capital letters. Milly
Well done Annabel. Next time you could use capital letters. From Tiffany 🙂
Chapter 1
On a mysterious land lived a world of darkness. As the place (known as mingi taw) grew darker, the trees howling in the greyness. The only thing to be seen was a minute cottage around it. On mingi taw there was a stone wall surrounding the deadly area. Was this the end?
After she woke up,she jumped to her feet and began to explore. On her journey Scarlet came to an unusual field where she met another Scythian girl called Girl. Scarlet seemed puzzled and Girl asked why. Once Scarlet explained, Girl gave her advice which was kind of a puzzle. It took her a long time to find out what the puzzle meant so she carried on exploring. Soon she came to a person called Logfella which showed her the way to the answer to the puzzle. So Scarlet carried on exploring her mystery. Soon she came to a man shaped rock. How mysterious…
As Scarlet approached the man shaped rock, she saw that there was no path leading into it. Suddenly she passed by a stone with a sword in front of a rainbow. It seemed to be realistic. So she slashed her sword out of her side and held it up high and then appeared to be a tongue slithering out of its face. It seemed to be a path leading to a cave. Scarlet creeped slowly towards the tongue, then quickly ran across it. As fast as a blasting bullet, Scarlet ended up face to face with a mysterious character called the Deathless Spectre. Scarlet grabbed the Megatome and bolted away as the Deathless Spectre awoke…
By Nell
Good adjectives Nell next time try to use more commas. 🙂 from Billy
Sword and Sworcery Quest Myth
Opening
Once in a land called Scythian there was a young boy called sam One day she met a dog called rusty. Rusty ran away and Emily shouted come back but it kept on running so Emily ran after him. She found herself In a large forest with tweeting birds and unknown beasts she kept on following the dog and found a woodcutter. The woodcutter noticed her and started talking. She told him that she had just followed a dog through a large steel gate and she needed help so the woodcutter agreed to help and walked with her along the stoney path. Later that day Emily came against a beast and had to fight it or else it would eat her friends. So she went up to the beast and chopped off its legs the beast let out a deafening roar. Emily and her friends covered their ears so she wouldn’t get deafened.
As she walked on she noticed a gigantic stone in the shape of a head but it was a dead end. She thought about how to open it she recognised a beautiful rainbow with all the colours you could think of. She looked for the other side of the rainbow and put her sword up then the mouth opened with a clank and a path appeared. As she walked in she was faced by a winding maze. As she walked around the maze she found her self out side the maze. She was so amassed to find her self completing the maze, so she jumped into the air with a cheer.
Build up
A storm covers the land. Scythian hears about the megatome and how to carry out sorcery.As Scythian walked into the ancient chambers of the sorcery book. She walked up the cobwebbed stairs and stood looking down in gladness. Scythian couldn’t pick up the dusty old book because she was worried that she might break it, so she slashed her dark sword through the rotting wood. She quickly put her hands in front of her and catched the book and sighed in relief. Then Scythian walked to the stairs and all of a sudden a huge creature from the underworld came through the dark portal . The huge monster leaped out at her, nearly killing her .The monster had a ragged cloak around its and body and she could see the skeleton’s face. As she remembered what the woodcutter said look out for a monster guarding the book called the deathless spectre. She shouted in terror deathless spectre and ran for her life dodging all of his death traps and minions. She heard a terrible groan and she was safe at last.
By Sam 🙂
Sword and Sworcery Quest By Josh
Chapter 1
Once upon a time there was a girl called Scythian she was on a quest to find a man to kill. Scythian was a knight she had a guard dog to fight beside her. One strange day when she was at the start of the quest, she magically spawned at the edge of a precipice.
Scythian said to herself where am I so she wondered and wondered where she was but then she found out she was in her quest to kill a man. Scythian has never been on dangerous quest before the only quest she has been on is to kidnap someone. Scythian walked on to found that horrible man a few moments later Scythian found a slobbering beast with the head of a snake and a body of a crocodile. Later on Scythian found a mysterious gate so she slashed it down with her mighty sword. When she trudged through the gate she saw a cottage with a woodcutter next to it. Scythian sneaked up to him and asked him “do you know where to found a horrible man with a reaper mask on” the woodcutter replied “yes of course I with lead you to him” “thank you” Scythian said.
The woodcutter and Scythian and the Scythians guard dog moved on. They mysteriously found a head of a rock man, Scythian said to himself “this doesn’t look pleasant”.
Chapter 2
Days later a terrible storm covered the land of Scythia. People were afraid of the evilness in the misty darkness. Villages were rushing for there life’s because they’ve never witnessed this horrific problem for decades.
Scythian finds out that it’s the power the megatome has created in the deathless spectres own hands. Scythian said to himself “I have to take that Powerful piece from that terrible nightmare that no one knows about.
Sword and Sworcery Tale by Alex
Chapter one – Arriving
In an unknown land known as Scythia, the trees would tell tales in the wind. Monsters seemed to live for hundreds of years. The place was always dark and gloomy and never bright and fun. People never knew who to trust. A terrible place! Or was it?
Once upon a time in a mythical place called Scythian lived an adventures women called Linda . The strange but clever girl approached an old friendly man wishing she could help him. Like a tambourine, the clever man was saying “help me help me!” Scared by what he was saying, she slowly tiptoed to the screaming man. All of a sudden, this dog barked and followed me. “There is an evil women called girl who lives in the dangerous mountains. And again the dog barked so eventually she followed him along this path to find another man. Was he that nasty girl in disguise?
“You will need this sword i give you. He overheard your conversation with that generous old man but just take it you will need it!” A bit more scared now, she wandered up this steep hill. It felt like hours. Out of no where, this object came towards me. It came as quick as a charging bull. She picked up my heavy sword and swiped the strange looking creature. She was shocked. When he was stood in shock the brown dog was barking at me to tell me which way to go. She followed the dog still in shock.
Chapter two – Going the right way
Adventurously Linda located an enough small path way. she heard a voice saying “there is a deathless spectre in the dark cave and he can read people’s mind!” Not knowing what to do, she rapidly walked up the steep path. As quick as a ferocious dog chasing sheep, Linda sprinted to the brown dog. Linda suddenly stopped and spotted so much green landscape. Like watching a green alien, Linda stared hypnotised by the green leaves waving at her. When the wind stopped Linda carried on ambling up the hill until she arrived at this Cliff, not knowing what to do she saw this shape what was the exact shape as her sword. Scared of the outcome she put the rusty sword in the small wooden hole. Somehow the rocks moved so she could get across the dangerous cliff. Her and her dog walked through all these dark passage ways until her mind seemed to freeze.
Chapter three – Who’s he?
Linda walked into this dark and gloomy cave. Not knowing what to do, she adventurously continued her stroll through all these cobwebs. Out of nowhere an evil laugh echoed around her it was the Deathless spectre.
She didn’t know what to do. So without thinking she just started running back. In fear , Sarah ran into a small passageway. where she heard a devastating groan as loud as a wolf howling. Then, the deathless spectre ran through a light. (The deathless spectre was a ghost if he ran through a light he would disappear.) From the sky , a huge object approached me. It pulled out it’s rusty sword and tried to swipe me. In one move, I stabbed him and lived another day. Was that the end of the death spectre? What the deathless spectre didn’t know is that Linda took the megaton from the deathless spectre. I could read anyone’s mind!
Very well done Alex. In the first paragraph you might have used too many short sentences. In last two sentences you said Linda took the megaton but then you said you could read anyone’s mind. What a great story though! From Libby 🙂
Well done Alex really good story. From Melanie
Chapter 1
Once up on a time in a mythical place called Scythian, lived a girl. There was a light coming from the sky and then she came to the ground and like a bolt of lightning started to run around to explore the place where she had landed. She didn’t know what she was going to bump into.
Later on she saw a man standing with some sheep, then she saw a wood cutter cutting wood and he said “can a wood cutter cut wood”? Suddenly he started showing her the way round Scythian.
When she came along some stairs she saw that she was trapped by wolves, so she got her sword out and started killing them they didn’t know that they where going to be killed. When she got away from the beasts she came along to a precipice so she put her sword up in the air and a tong came out of a stone face. She thought she was in a lab because the face could be the face of the person who ones the lab. When she got out of the cave she found her self in a different place but that didn’t really matter
By Richard
Chapter 1 – Arriving at Scythian.
It all began when Sapphire,an adventurous girl,went on a dangerous journey to Mingi taw (the two head-shaped Rocky Mountain).The journey began next to a field in the middle of nowhere. Sapphire and a dog Max met a old man on a rock. He said to sapphire and Max that they must save the land from great Evil. Later on Sapphire and Max met a woodsman cutting wood. He said his name was Sam. Sapphire asked and asked the man if he would help them get to Mingi taw. Eventually, Sam gave up,grabbed some food and set off with Sapphire and Max.
Nearly half way, Sapphire became face to face with a three eyed wolf with blood all over it,fearing for her life she grabbed her sword and stritked for the heart and slowly but painfully it died.It hit the ground like a rag doll,lifeless.So Sam, Sapphire and Max carried on their Journey to Mingi taw. Hopefully they will survive.
Chapter 2 – The encounter with the deathless Spector.
Finally Sapphire had arrived. She entered the ghastly like cave. She could her the trapped souls asking for forgiveness.She saw the megatome from across the cave.
By Shannon
Sword and Sworcery tale By Hattie
Opening
In a land that nobody has heard of,the trees swayed in the cold,calm breeze.
The wind sang. The cotton wool clouds floated in the sky. The green heart
Shaped leaves swayed down from the tall tree, which stands in the
Middle of field where the sheep chewed on the damp grass.
Somebody fell from the sky carrying a sword and a shield. As he came down the steps he held up his sword. Eagerly he walked past a farm and that is where he met an adventurous girl, called girl. She quietly said hello, and told him to follow her. She led him to another farm and they saw a woods man called Tom. The girl left him and Tom together.
The deathless spectre was released from the cold, stone statue. A thunder storm broke out. He followed people for a second or two and then he went strait in and stole every single sole until everyones were gone. He took control of the world with spirits helping him
(They worked as if they were his slaves).
Well done Hattie. I like your story.
Chapter 1
Once upon a time in a mystic land where the not even the birds felt like tweeting there lived a girl called Lucy. She loved exploring and often met people by roaming around. Her home land was rather big and beautiful. One day she went on a mission because she figured that the land had a dark secret.
When she reached her first destination, (in a graveyard) she saw a woodcutter chopping some wood so Lucy asked him to guide her to the Mingi taw. On their journey, they found a horrid creature that looked as evil as a devil and as scary as a troll and it looked a bit like a dog only very dark. After she had concurred the worlds worst nightmare she went to mingi taw.
By Leslie
Sword and Sworcery
Opening
Once upon a time, a girl called Sophie came to a world of magic to explore. This land was like dream. She started with only a dog but soon had a group of comfort. This land wasn’t ordinary. It was full of danger and wild life. But not in the countryside. When you get there, you will find 11 sheep just stood eating grass. These animals are not dangerous. They just stand there doing what they do best. So you walk past them and walk deep into the forest. Soon you come to the end of the map so just walk up right to the end.
Build up
Sythian runs from the monster taking every step as a life saver. She is metres away from the sculls mouth witch is the way out. She does not yet know about the spectres death quonsiqueence if in daylight.
Sythian runs onto the rocky terrain and out of sight. The spectre is not far behind and is chasing sythian. The spectre has stopped metres away from the scull and is now helpless. The village surround the helpless beast watching him fade away in the sunlight. They are not in the mood to take him to darkness. The just see his spirit rise and fly away. The are now looking at mud. He is not here and was not really deathless. He was never seen again. The next creature is just around the corner. The villagers go home and stay in peace until the next attack.
Next, you go to another world which is not too different to the other one. Apart from there is a friendly man near the end. He is next to a metal hut and will be chopping wood. After you go past him, he will follow you. But remember, he is helping you. Then again, the world will end. Just walk to the end again and you will change world.
This world is dangerous. You walk up and the dog and wood cutter stop. You need to fight a wolf. Beware, it can kill you! It is like it is asking to fight. It was the scariest beast she had ever seen. She already knew she was going to see one after the stories she was told about the consequences people had told her of coming to the world. Her mission was ago and was a mission that was worth finishing
Once upon a time, a girl called Sophie came to a world of magic to explore. This land that was made up. She started with only a dog but soon had a group of comfort. This land wasn’t ordinary. It was full of danger and wild life. But not in the countryside. It is totally made up. When you get there, you will find 11 sheep just stood eating grass. These animals are not dangerous. They just stand there doing what they do best. So you walk past them and walk deep into the forest. Soon you come to the end of the map so just walk up right to the end.
Next, you go to another world which is not too different to the other one. Apart from there is a friendly man near the end. He is next to a metal hut and will be chopping wood. After you go past him, he will follow you. But remember, he is helping you. Then again, the world will end. Just walk to the end again and you will change world.
This world is dangerous. You walk up and the dog and wood cutter stop. You need to fight a wolf. Beware, it can kill you!
Chapter 2
By Jack
Sword & Sworcery Tale
By Hayden
Chapter 1 – The start of a epic journey or is it?
As a murky war-ravaged battle zone ,stood proudly in a deserted countryside trying to stand out but failing badly, to emprise people who passed by without looking did not realise that had happened 1000 years ago.
Bawang encountered a young girl shepherding a herd of traumatised sheep who stood next to unloveable steel plated gate which guarded a legendary castle. As he talked to the girl she said to him about a mile away you will find a strong brave woodcutter he will show you the way for most of the way. But you have to watch for the strong powerful wolf then she left in a blink of a eye! Then a cloud of thunder start. As she left she told herself it won’t be easy but I will have do it in order to succeed after a little while he was in a weathered old village that had been there for 1000 years. As
He explored he noticed a door was open, as he entered there was a fire going she quickly reacted and scrambled out of the house there was a woodcutter he said don’t be afraid. As they were talking he said I will help you for a while then I will go home they strolled he stopped and she said what.
Look!! And there stood the wolf the the Shepard told my about I quick pull my sword and a epic battle had began after about 10 minutes I thought I never survive. After I traveled to a cliff face and sign I pulled my sword up and it opened what layed next…
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
As Bawang went into the cave, which no one had been in he saw a statue of the DEATHLESS SPECTOR!!! He saw a opening ,he went to thorough it. It was dark ;the shadow moved he could only hear a breath of it.
Well done Hayden. I like your story.
Sword & Sworcery
By Ryan
Chapter 1
Green all around her, it’s like a jungle! It was cold, and in the distance there were white coloured fluff. Coming up closer she found out that there were eight sheep surrounding her. The grass was thin, but only a little mud showed.
Introduce your character here (Scythian)
Chapter 2
The mist and the clouds were joined together because they were always descending. But these clouds were not white…
They were black, with little light surrounding Adimaster. Lightning struck, terrorfying the whole land with its roar. The trees were swaying rapidly like it to was trying to flee like the rest. The clouds were cavernous, covering the landscape. Adimaster was brave, always fighting through the rain.
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Dark gloomy cave surrounding her, not one step thinking how dangerous this challenge was. Hovering at the stairs of the vast cave, she held her sword tight for the great peril that stood like a statue write be forth her. Skulls were everywhere, but for only one caught her eye, the mass greater than the others. The deathless spectre.
Suddenly, when the book of sorcery was lifted to freedom, there was a rumble of terror, her last words run. As a shadow hovered above her she got a glimpse of its terrifying eyes…
Sword & Sworcery
By Billy
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Scythian strolled through the epic land, discovering different things every second .
The knee jarring ground ready to course an accident was covered in mist and dust clogging up her throat. Tips of mountains and cliffs were disguised by snow like orchids about to blossom.
Pricked pinned huts were nestled in the mystinouse depth of the forest , surrounded by spirits and evil spectres …
White fluffy sheep sat in a war-ragged field. Mystinouse doors and gates with danger Singh’s above her make her spin chill.
As time was exceeding on , the Scythian can to a bulky archway . She didn’t know where this opaque mine would take her but then she realised there was a little alleyway…
Suddenly the Scythian found herself marching down the minute alleyway until she saw a GHOST as tall as a skyscraper with horns like bananas.
Fighting , the ghost with her shield and sword the Scythian stole a book. Scythian stole it and sprinted off…
Miraculously she found herself in a room with a lifelike stature of an explore then she realised it was the ghost. He glared her in the as she hesitated then ran of.
She battled it once more to defeat the beast. She did it and escaped.
Sword & Sworcery
By Ellie-Mae
Chapter 1. Trees swaing left to right like old grannees wanting a what’re .The lams were as flufeey as they could de.Aboph the sheep ther was this triangel shap thing.
In this place called Scythia she saw a shepherd called girl she was very polite to me. She told me about the the cave and what it was she said “it was once a mysterious cave and no one knows about it” She wanted to explore.
Then she found another track it took her to another place in the forest where she had to fight a fearsome war wolf what had 3 eyes and black dirty fur.
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Suddenly it came dark and all she could see was tow ylairing red eys waiting to
The sword tale
Opening
In a land of darkness the moon shone brightly. The only light in the land. The wind blow the swaying trees. The terrible thunder storm covered the land. It will always be black because…
Sally landed on a rocky path. As Sally tiptoed onwards she saw a dog but it was not a normal dog it looked like it was made of blocks. Sally looked all around her but all she could see is the darkness. After a Long walk Sally saw some steps, she went up and saw someone chopping wood. When Sally got there the mysterious man stop and looked at Sally. The darkness around her was too dark for the man to see her but the man was the woodcutter. So he carried on working. Sally walked on the path again until she saw a cave.
The entrance of the cave was dark and gloomy. Sally was a bit scared. The cave was dark that Sally couldn’t see anything. The cave was a gigantic. The walls were winkle like a old granny hand. The path was as narrow as timberland road. When Sally gazed in she saw a statue. It looked like a prince.
Build up
Sally walked into the dark gloomy cave. The walls were just so old and wrinkly like all the other cave she been in. In front of her was a statue and in front of the Statue was the book the wood copper told Sally to get. When she stepped forward the statue came to life…
Sally was shaking with fear. The wood chopper warned Sally about the monster. Sally was thinking how can a statue came to life? She was terrified. Sally made the hardest choice of her life take the book and run…
Dilemma
And so it was told, the deathless spectre had swallowed children souls. The mothers were upset and also the villagers were terribly worried. Maybe they were next. The next day more children souls were taken. This time an old lady’s husband was killed. ” Harry Harry were are you come on your scaring me now Harry!” Screamed one of the lady’s.
“It’s not like this deathless spectre took them is it.” Said this boy in the crowd.
The other people know it was there turn. Every day more and more people die all from the deathless spectre. The old lady was speechless she didn’t say a single thing to anyone.
Sally know she had to do something. She volunteer to go and fight the deathless spectre. ” good bye mother, see you soon.” She said in a confinton voice. She walk out the door and started her journey.
After a long walk Sally finally reach Scythian she walk along the rocky path to the cave. At the end of the village. She heard an aerie sound that would send shives down the back for any one who heard it. On the way to the cave Sally met this mysterious person. ” hello.”
By milly
Great effort so far Milly! 2tp.
Check your writing for past tense. There are still a few words. Make sure that your opening sets the scene enough. You still need to complete your resolution and ending.
Sythian runs from the monster taking every step as a life saver. She is metres away from the sculls mouth witch is the way out. She does not yet know about the spectres death quonsiqueence if in daylight.
Sythian runs onto the rocky terrain and out of sight. The spectre is not far behind and is chasing sythian. The spectre has stopped metres away from the scull and is now helpless. The village surround the helpless beast watching him fade away in the sunlight. They are not in the mood to take him to darkness. The just see his spirit rise and fly away. The are now looking at mud. He is not here and was not really deathless. He was never seen again. The next creature is just around the corner. The villagers go home and stay in peace until the next attack.
7 days past And 2 other people went missing. Now the villagers grip to their seats day dreaming about who would go next and who will stay. It was like a tsunami people being swept away and not coming back.
5 days past and instead of them coming back, another 2 people where swep away. It was like a time machine where people are vanished. No one has the power to look for them because of what has happened to the other people and them not coming back. The villagers are still digging for answers but not find them.
Sophie’s story is told day by day about the experience she had with the beast. Not nice story’s though. The story’s to scare someone and put then off. It was like she wanted them to be scared.
A month later, a tromertised old man came back with no story to tell. The panic in the mans face showed the village it was not a nice experience. Nobody wanted to meet this soul taker from the old mans face. “He’s not the same! Said the old lady.He’s never going to be the same again!
I am going to make him learn. He’s a mind reader and needs to be extinxed”. The old lady cried until it was dark like it was spreading around the village like a disease.
A year past and nobody had dissapeared. It was like the monster was planning an attack on the village. This villagers thought he was gone and held a midnight party to celebrate. The problem was, they didn’t even think about what he might of been planning
By jack hargreaves
Good effort so far Jack. 2tp.
It doesn’t read like a story just yet. The first two paragraphs sound like instructions rather than a story. Try to create an opening that sets the scene. Make changes so that it sound like an exciting story.
Sorcery Tale
Chapter 1
On a mysterious land lived a world of darkness. As the place (known as mingi taw) grew darker, the trees howling in the greyness. The only thing to be seen was a minute cottage around it. On mingi taw there was a stone wall surrounding the deadly area. Was this the end?
After she woke up,she jumped to her feet and began to explore. On her journey Scarlet came to an unusual field where she met another Scythian girl called Girl. Scarlet seemed puzzled and Girl asked why. Once Scarlet explained, Girl gave her advice which was kind of a puzzle. It took her a long time to find out what the puzzle meant so she carried on exploring. Soon she came to a person called Logfella which showed her the way to the answer to the puzzle. So Scarlet carried on exploring her mystery. Soon she came to a man shaped rock. How mysterious…
As Scarlet approached the man shaped rock, she saw that there was no path leading into it. Suddenly she passed by a stone with a sword in front of a rainbow. It seemed to be realistic. So she slashed her sword out of her side and held it up high and then appeared to be a tongue slithering out of its face. It seemed to be a path leading to a cave. Scarlet creeped slowly towards the tongue, then quickly ran across it. As fast as a blasting bullet, Scarlet ended up face to face with a mysterious character called the Deathless Spectre. Scarlet grabbed the Megatome and bolted away as the Deathless Spectre awoke…
Chapter 2
Like a bullet, scarlet bolted and ran for her life, as the deathless spectre slowly stalked her from every step she took. He seemed to be bloodthirsty for the sorcery trapped inside the Megatome. Eventually Scarlet arrived home to the cottage and found Girl tied up in a inescapable rope with the Deathless spectre guarding her. But he was in the cottage, that was full of sorcery. There seemed to be a blue light surrounding Girl, “The sorcery has captured her from the deathless spectre!” She gasped suddenly. But how will she fight the evil? ” it’s either the sorcery is taken and placed in my hands or she dies!” The deathless spectre cackled menacingly. Scarlet heart sank to her melting guts.
Soon there was a big meeting with the town about who was going to go and defeat the stone hearted beast known as the deathless spectre. ” I ain’t going cos I have ‘orrible kids at home!” One lady shouted. ” I have work to do so I ain’t going! ” an old lady nagged. ” I’ll go.” whispered Scarlet. The entire crowd burst out with laughter as Scarlet raced up the hill with hope in her pounding heart.
Chapter three.
Eventually Scarlet came to the deathless spectre as he was still regaining his power on Girl. ” you’ve came back.” He said expectantly. Suddenly the moon came out as Scarlet swung her sword from her side with the wicked plan in her mind. The moon reflected on her sword and the deathless spectre disappeared in one second.
By Nell
Superb so far Nell! 2tp.
Read through your writing and make sure that you have included enough detail in each section of your myth. Try to add more suspense. You could do this by not giving the information to the reader straight away.
Sword and Sorcery
Opening
It all began when he fell in a lost world he didn’t know where to go but then he saw a strange creature. he was cautious when he saw it because it came and he thought it tried to tell me to follow it. So he did and that’s how the quest began.
Build up
Well he went into this kind of land of the lost so he followed the kind of dog and it led me to a girl in a field, full of sheep and she just sat on a brick and she told me her name was girl. She said she lived on her own, so he asked her if she wanted to come with me and dog ,but she said that she had to look after her sheep. So he said that’s ok so we carried on our quest. We found loads of wood just piled up in a big mess, a man came out of a kind of cottage, he said “hello can I ofer you some wood” . She said” no thank you” he asked him if he wanted to come with us on our quest he said “yes” and he didn’t follow dog so he was assuming that he knew where he was going so he came to a kind of wolf. He was fighting it and fighting it and eventually killed it. So we stopped at a kind of cave so he went into a door and it led me to another door.
Dilemma
Suddenly when he got outside a storm came out of nowhere. Just to warn you that if you go into light the deathless spectre gets faster. You must form a spell to defeat him. If you get out the megaton you can read peoples minds. Make sure you don’t get caught by the deathless spectre. “AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my children are missing”She had fainted because she had panicked to much.
Resolution
If you find a sylthan sprite you must get out the megaton and lead it to the sky. Create a spell and turn the deathless spectre. One week later a man went missing after a week but people are not believing his wife.
He spotted the deathless spectre so he stopped and that was it his soul was gone he was gone so he was never seen again. Beware danger is coming your way so run try to avoid light over wise your dead. This creature is deadly. It is turning the world black.
Ending
It had been less than a year and 50 people were missing. The world had become a nightmare as the sky turned black . The only way to stop him is to create a spell. After 14 years 5 people had returned and they were speechless they were being questioned,but they were shoked so they couldn’t awnser them. They were so scared they couldn’t even move. You could see that they were petrified because it was written all over them. They were shaking with fear they were so scared that they couldn’t get to sleep.
By Annabel
Sword and Sworcery tale
Opening
In a land that nobody has heard of, loudness fell and silence was hared.the trees swayed in the cold,calm breeze. The wind sang. The cotton wool clouds floated in the sky. The green heart shaped leaves swayed down from the tall tree, which stands in the middle of field where the sheep chewed on the damp grass.
Sword and Sworcery tale
People thought it was an ordinary place until somebody fell from the sky carrying a sword and a shield. As he came down the steps he held up his sword. Eagerly he walked past a farm and that is where he met an adventurous girl, called girl. She quietly said hello, and told him to follow her. She led him to another farm and they saw a woods man called Tom. The girl left him and Tom together.
Build up
Scythian finds out about the megatome. She looks everywhere even in the deepest, darkest and scariest part of the town. Someone walk past and Scythian hears abut of their conversation “hey, ave you eard about the megatome, witch is kept in a cave, on the other side of town.” They mentioned. Scythian ran up the hill and into the library. Nobody knew where the cave was.
A week later Scythian packed her bags and hits the road.
Dilemma
The deathless spectre was released from the cold, stone statue. A thunder storm broke out. He followed people for a second or two and then he went strait in and stole every single soul everyones were gone.
More and more people’s souls where being ripped out off their bodies by the evil figure. He took control of spirits and sent them all over the world to kill the the people of Scythia.
By Harriet
Very impressed with your descriptive and enticing language Hattie, it made me eager to read more! 🙂 Well done xx
From Mum! 😉
Hattie, I agree with your Mum! 2tp.
Try to add suspense, by not giving things away to the reader straight away.
A sorceress a tale
Chapter 1
Arriving at Scythian.
It all began when Sapphire,an adventurous girl,went on a dangerous journey to Mingi taw (the two head-shaped Rocky Mountain).The journey began next to a field in the middle of nowhere. Sapphire and a dog Max met a old man on a rock. He said to sapphire and Max that they must save the land from great Evil. Later on Sapphire and Max met a woodsman cutting wood. He said his name was Sam. Sapphire asked and asked the man if he would help them get to Mingi taw. Eventually, Sam gave up,grabbed some food and set off with Sapphire and Max.
Nearly half way, Sapphire became face to face with a three eyed wolf with blood all over it,fearing for her life she grabbed her sword and stritked for the heart and slowly but painfully it died.It hit the ground like a rag doll,lifeless.So Sam, Sapphire and Max carried on their Journey to Mingi taw.
Hopefully they will survive.
Chapter 2.
The mystery village.
On the journey they found a cat.with out hesitation max tried to prance on it but it ran away.So max ran away too after it.We ran after him we found him,as still as a stuff bear,at the side of a village.We ran to the first villager we saw and asked her where is Mingi taw.”why on earth would you want to go there.”She Tolled me as she pointed at a mountain.”to get the megatome from the deathless Spector.”I tolled her.”oh no no no you shouldn’t go there the first time we heard of him was Christmas it was snowing the wind blowing wild.We came running out to a scream from mrs apple.”I saw a shadow swallowed my husband hole I did.”She shouted.
“She’s gone crazy oh don’t hurt me deathless Spector.”He laughed in starcazim.
“No ones heard of mr apple or mrs apple again.”she explained.”It was the deathless Spector’s work.”
“Well I best be off then I’ll see you shortly.”Sapphire said hopping it could be true.It would be one in a million chance to come back,well alive.
Chapter 3
Encounter with deathless Spector.
Finally Sapphire had arrived.The cave was dark and gloomy.It stinked of rotten flesh.
By Shannon
Superb effort Shannon! 2tp.
Check your punctuation, as you have missed a couple. Also try to include more emotions about the main character.
Sword & Sworcery Tale by Alex
Chapter one Arriving.
In an unknown land known as Scythia, The trees would tell tales in the wind. Monsters seemed to live for hundreds of years. The place was always dark and gloomy and never bright and fun. People never knew who to trust. A terrible place! Or was it?
Once upon a time in a mythical place called Scythian lived an adventures women called Linda . The strange but clever girl approached an old friendly man wishing she could help him. Like a tambourine, the clever man was saying “help me help me!” Scared by what he was saying, she slowly tiptoed to the screaming man. All of a sudden, this dog barked and followed me. “There is an evil women called girl who lives in the dangerous mountains. And again the dog barked so eventually she followed him along this path to find another man. Was he that nasty girl in disguise?
“You will need this sword i give you. He overheard your conversation with that generous old man but just take it you will need it!” A bit more scared now, she wandered up this steep hill. It felt like hours. Out of no where, this object came towards me. It came as quick as a charging bull. She picked up my heavy sword and swiped the strange looking creature. She was shocked. When he was stood in shock the brown dog was barking at me to tell me which way to go. She followed the dog still in shock.
Chapter two going the right way.
Adventurously Linda located an enough small path way. she heard a voice saying “there is a deathless spectre in the dark cave and he can read people’s mind!” Not knowing what to do, she rapidly walked up the steep path. As quick as a ferocious dog chasing sheep, Linda sprinted to the brown dog. Linda suddenly stopped and spotted so much green landscape. Like watching a green alien, Linda stared hypnotised by the green leaves waving at her. When the wind stopped Linda carried on ambling up the hill until she arrived at this Cliff, not knowing what to do she saw this shape what was the exact shape as her sword. Scared of the outcome she put the rusty sword in the small wooden hole. Somehow the rocks moved so she could get across the dangerous cliff. Her and her dog walked through all these dark passage ways until her mind seemed to freeze.
Chapter three Who’s he?
Linda walked into this dark and gloomy cave. Not knowing what to do, she adventurously continued her stroll through the many cobwebs. – Out of nowhere an evil laugh echoed around her it was the Deathless spectre.
She didn’t know what to do. So without thinking she just started running back. In fear , Linda ran into a small passageway. where she heard a devastating groan as loud as a wolf howling. Then, the deathless spectre ran through a light. (The deathless spectre was a ghost if he ran through a light he would disappear.) From the sky , a huge object approached me. It pulled out it’s rusty sword and tried to swipe me. In one move, I stabbed him and lived another day. Was that the end of the death spectre? What the deathless spectre didn’t know is that Linda took the megaton from the deathless spectre. I could read anyone’s mind!
Chapter 4 on the right tracks.
Linda quickly sprinted back down the hill. Unfortunately the path was blocked by a gigantic bolder . Annoyed by being stopped, Linda liked the green bush and found another small path. With nothing else to do, Linda ran down the path until she found a huge village. She walked down a tiny hill. “Please help us a shady man is killing us all!” Shouted a weird voice. It was the same old man who was shouting earlier at the bottom of the hill. He told me “that this thing is killing us all!” I remembered I had the megatome. As quick as a bullet, I took the megatome out of my bag and used the curious object. He was thinking about when he died Linda new what she had to do. Go to where he died.”you no where he died!” Asked Linda “at the end of the village ain’t he .” Stated the old man. With In a second the old man and the intrigued Linda ran to the grave of the deathless spectre. Roger Baxter. That’s what it said on the cold grave stone. Out of no where, a object came out of the clouds it was one of the deathless spectre guards. They were specially trained at combat. He had a dagger. I pulled out my sword and killed him. All of a sudden, my heart stopped the deathless spectre what should Linda do?
Chapter 5 attack
Frightened by the object, Linda ran away. She thought for a minute she was going to die so just try to kill it. Adventurously Linda sprinted for dear life she through the megatone at it. The deathless spectre went into the sky. All of a sudden, a scared man came down from the heavens his name roger Baxter.
By Alex
Great effort Alex. 2tp.
Check your opening, as you seem to have two opening lines. Add some more adverbial phrases to help the reader. (After a while)
Sword and Sworcery Quest By Josh
Chapter 1
Once upon a time there was a girl called Scythian she was on a quest to find a man to kill. Scythian was a knight she had a guard dog to fight beside her. One strange day when she was at the start of the quest, she magically spawned at the edge of a precipice.
Scythian said to herself where am I so she wondered and wondered where she was but then she found out she was in her quest to kill a man. Scythian has never been on dangerous quest before the only quest she has been on is to kidnap someone. Scythian walked on to found that horrible man a few moments later Scythian found a slobbering beast with the head of a snake and a body of a crocodile. Later on Scythian found a mysterious gate so she slashed it down with her mighty sword. When she trudged through the gate she saw a cottage with a woodcutter next to it. Scythian sneaked up to him and asked him “do you know where to found a horrible man with a reaper mask on” the woodcutter replied “yes of course I with lead you to him” “thank you” Scythian said.
The woodcutter and Scythian and the Scythians guard dog moved on. They mysteriously found a head of a rock man, Scythian said to himself “this doesn’t look pleasant”.
Chapter 2
Days later a terrible storm covered the land of Scythia. People were afraid of the evilness in the misty darkness. Villages were rushing for there life’s because they’ve never witnessed this horrific problem for decades.
Scythian finds out that it’s the power the megatome has created in the deathless spectres own hands. Scythian said to himself “I have to take that Powerful piece from that terrible nightmare that no one knows about.
Chapter 3
The Deathless Spectre was risen again by Scythias curse. The Deathless Spectre finds the woodcutter the wood cutter does not know anything about the curse. Back at Scythia, a woman was crying on a bench. She was crying because her son and her husband had been swallowed hole by a mysterious shadow while she was at the market. Luckily the woman did not look at the shadow (Deathless Spectre). Ally was wondering if the shadow was the Deathless Spectre but the villages would not believe her. Like a bullet, Ally ran to the woman on the bench and said” don’t worry about your son and husband I’ll vanquish the shadow so you can live your life like you did 30 minutes ago” the woman replied ” oh thank you thank you ally ” ” no problem” Ally replied. Suddenly, Ally realised that the wood cutter was not helping her so she pulled out her mega tome and red the wood cutters mind he was thinking if he could trick Ally by being on the Deathless Spectres army.
Chapter 4
Weeks later the sky turns into a misty darkness again the villages asked Ally “what is going on? Ally replied saying “it’s a sign of the Deathless Spectre”the villages screamed and vanished into there unsafe homes. Suddenly, the Deathless Spectre in a strike of lightning was face to face with Ally.
The Deathless Spectre tried to suck Ally into his body but Ally instantly used the power of sworcery to close his body so he is attack less. Ally said to the Deathless Spectre “you are now not going to be able to take people’s souls”. The Deathless spectre crouched down and said “I was only taking peoples souls because I was scared of this village.
Great so far Josh. 2tp.
Check your opening as I don’t think you have included enough description of the setting. Remember for speech: new speaker new line.
Sword & Sorcery Quest Myth
Chapter 1
Once in a land called Scythian there was a young boy called sam One day she met a dog called rusty. Rusty ran away and Emily shouted come back but it kept on running so Emily ran after him. She found herself In a large forest with tweeting birds and unknown beasts she kept on following the dog and found a woodcutter. The woodcutter noticed her and started talking. She told him that she had just followed a dog through a large steel gate and she needed help so the woodcutter agreed to help and walked with her along the stoney path. Later that day Emily came against a beast and had to fight it or else it would eat her friends. So she went up to the beast and chopped off its legs the beast let out a deafening roar. Emily and her friends covered their ears so she wouldn’t get deafened. As she walked on she noticed a gigantic stone in the shape of a head but it was a dead end. She thought about how to open it she recognised a beautiful rainbow with all the colours you could think of. She looked for the other side of the rainbow and put her sword up then the mouth opened with a clank and a path appeared. As she walked in she was faced by a winding maze. As she walked around the maze she found her self out side the maze. She was so amassed to find her self completing the maze, so she jumped into the air with a cheer.
Chapter 2
A storm covers the land. Scythian hears about the megatome and how to carry out sorcery.As Scythian walked into the ancient chambers of the sorcery book. She walked up the cobwebbed stairs and stood looking down in gladness. Scythian couldn’t pick up the dusty old book because she was worried that she might break it, so she slashed her dark sword through the rotting wood. She quickly put her hands in front of her and catched the book and sighed in relief. Then Scythian walked to the stairs and all of a sudden a huge creature from the underworld came through the dark portal . The huge monster leaped out at her, nearly killing her .The monster had a ragged cloak around its and body and she could see the skeleton’s face. As she remembered what the woodcutter said look out for a monster guarding the book called the deathless spectre. She shouted in terror deathless spectre and ran for her life dodging all of his death traps and minions. She heard a terrible groan and she was safe at last.
Chapter 3
The Deathless spectre released a dreadful storm covering the village. It made the friendly silvan sprits( that are beautiful and there bodies are made from pure life ) hide in the the enchanted and mythical forest. But can only be released by doing a special dance of sorcery, meditating or solving a puzzle.
As well he also released 3 undead birds making a death clock set for two days till doom. However instead of a ticking noise, there was an almost silent noise of a tweet. Tweet. Tweet tweet and if eneybody heard it they would know it would be to late to be saved but can only be broken by deafitind the deathless specter.
Chapter 4
The next morning Sam was terrafied by the distruction of his village so later that day the he held a town meating. “We need to do something about it”said a angry villager.
“Yea” replied a angry villager.
“Dose eneybody want to volunteer to fight him”
“Sam can he’s the one that got us into this mess”
Great work Sam. You have put a lot of effort into it. Remember new speaker new line. Well done. From James 🙂
Well done Sam! You have organised this writing very well! 2tp.
Think carefully about your character’s name and their emotions during the story.
Great and fantastic job all of you. Well done! From Libby 🙂
Chapter 1
Once up on a time in a mythical place called Scythian, lived a girl. There was a light coming from the sky and then she came to the ground and like a bolt of lightning started to run around to explore the place where she had landed. She didn’t know what she was going to bump into.
Later on, she saw a man standing with some sheep, then she saw a wood cutter cutting wood and he said “can a wood cutter cut wood”? Suddenly he started showing her the way round Scythian.
When she came along some stairs she saw that she was trapped by wolves, so she got her sword out and started killing them they didn’t know that they where going to be killed. When she got away from the beasts she came along to a precipice so she put her sword up in the air and a tong came out of a stone face. She thought she was in a lab because the face could be the face of the person who ones the lab.
As she got further from her home she felt more and more terrified and alone
She wondered why no one was there. “Isn’t any one hear right now?” She asked worriedly. But the reason why their was no one their was because one day in the city their was an evil man that went to a cage and their was a ghost like figure and he was so mean that he let him out to kill the people in the village. The bad thing was the ghost like figure was a ghost so he wouldn’t be able to die. Someone realised that if you look at the deathless Spector than you will turn to stone one month later so he went to a place where you tell people what has happens and she said “I’ve sour a ghost I have and he looked at me he did I ain’t lying.”no one in the city believed her but they needed to. One month later people realised that the woman had diserpeard so they got worried. A man said who will face their fears to kill the deathless Spector. No one rased their hands. And that’s why no one is in the village. Girl thought to her self why don’t I try to kill the deathless Spector. “I have a sword.”
By Richard
Very good! I really like how you’ve included the action and expressed the evil so far that it brings a tear to my eye!
But try to include some commas. Well done! (From Unknown?)
Sword & Sworcery
By Libby
Chapter1
In a peaceful world with a sweet smell of flowers, no one was safe. This world was hiding a lot of secrets and dangers.
A Scythian was, determined to find out where most of her people have gone. Her name was Autumn. As she travelled on her adventure, Autumn saw this shepherd called girl in the war-ravaged field with her sheep. When she looked around she glanced at a gate, but it was mysteriously locked. She carried on with her journey, she found a wood chopper called Logfella when she carried on he started following her he wanted to lead her to this certain place. They ended up in a forest it got darker and darker she found her self fighting a a three red eyed wolf luckily she WON! She was making sure nothing will jump out at her (like just now with the wolf).
Chapter2
People chatter about a girl saving everybody life’s.Last night one person was died by the morning leaving ashes, a child saw her being killed by the Deathless Spector this is what she saw and what she told.This is the tale, an old lady (which was blamed for being a witch) got burned and come to seek her revenge to every body who lives in Scythia.she kills people by walking through them and they disintegrates which leaved ashes.
Whilst Autumn walk log fella came with her they found a rainbow.
Chapter 4
While she walks through the sinister passage way, she glairs at a structure holding the booklet. Once she takes it from the shadow it creeks and comes to life. It starts chancing her. Running , she thinks where she got in so she can go the same way to get out. Pounding her heart races as well as her legs is the shadow going to catch her?
Great effort Libby! You have thought of a good structure to your story. 2hp. 😎
Sometimes it feels like you have raced through the story. Your opening is very short. I like that you have described the beauty of the landscape and contrasted that with the storm that is looming. I think you could add more descriptions to the opening paragraph. Check chapter two, as I think you have not fully explained it.
Sword & Sworcery
By Holly
Chapter 1 – Opening
The Scythian appeared out of a beam of light. As she gazed across a war-ravaged land , a friendly dog suddenly ran to her as if by magic. The sheep peacefully grazed in the field, meanwhile a unusual girl stood watching them who roams the land. Who was she? It turned out that her name was girl a very unwelcoming name I know, but I don’t make up the rules. On a rock was a large mysterious gate, with iron bars and a patterned symbol carved on top of the gate. “What did it mean?” She thought to herself.
Looming over the Scythia, tall trees swayed in the wind like a monster was thumping the ground in despair. The wind howled. The storm ravaged. The thunder roared. The ground shook. The town sat about all cheery like nothing was about to transpire. Joy thought about the clues, which could only add up to… “No it can’t be it has to be something else, could it?” She whispered to her.
Chapter 2 – Build Up
As the Scythian carried on in her woeful journey, she found an cottage and a well. In side the cottage was a lit fire there fore That meant some one had been there before her…
Chapter 3 – Dilemma
After time, the unfortunate Scythian reached the dark and gloomy Cave. She stopped, meanwhile a shiver ran down her spine. It was as if something bad was about to happen. She passed an ominous statue with fire in its eyes glaring straight through her. Back in Scythia the sky darkened, a storm raged and people hurried back inside. That very night Joy, the Scythian, came back from the gloomy cave, grasping the megatome tightly. The hectic crowd consumed joy like a thread on a bobbin. See was very confused at first but then her mind settled and BOOM! The mega tome set it’s self on fire, meanwhile every one stopped and stared. “Finally” some one said enthusiastically “we don’t need to worry about the deathless specter any more”
That very night, an eerie scream echoed across the town.
Chapter 4
One word…Wow! I really like your use of the word transpire. 2hp. 😎
Your story certainly jumps straight into the action. Careful to make sure that you have fully explained what is happening in the story. The reader might be a bit confused about the main character, as she appears from nowhere. You could include some dialogue from the main character, so that we know that the main character is just as confused as the reader. Try to think about the questions that the reader would like to know. Has she lost her memory? Why did she appear? What is she doing? And so on…
Sword & Sworcery
By Billy
Build up
Scythian strolled through the epic land, discovering different things every second. The knee-jarring ground, ready to course an accident, was covered in mist and dust clogging up her throat. Tips of mountains and cliffs were disguised by snow like orchids about to blossom. Pricked pinned huts were nestled in the mysterious depth of the forest , surrounded by spirits and evil spectres … White fluffy sheep sat in a war-ravaged field. Mysterious doors and gates with danger signs above her, made her spin chill.
As time departed, the Scythian came to a bulky archway. She didn’t know where this opaque mine would take her, but then she realised there was an intriguing corridor… Suddenly the Scythian found herself marching down the minute corridor, until she saw something that caught her eye. Megatome
Dilemma
Night fell , the beast was realist by one off his evil dog!Many people went missing over night. “Footsteps ” footsteps ” a local woodcutter shouted at the top of his lungs. There’s only one person which new what had happened .Scythian…
That night a norther 6 people had gone Missing, what was going on!Itwas time to do something about this outraged.
Scythian volunteered to defeat the beast again because this was all her folt!!!
Awful things
Resolution
Scythian volunteers to defeat the deathless spectre.
Fighting , the ghost with her shield and sword the Scythian stole a book. Scythian stole it and sprinted off…
Miraculously she found herself in a room with a lifelike stature of an explore then she realised it was the ghost. He glared her in the as she hesitated then ran of. She battled it once more to defeat the beast. She did it and escaped.
The town was cheering her when she walk on the cobble stone path way to show what she had done .
Superb effort Billy! 2hp. 😎 You have included lots of good descriptions.
Try to make sure that you include all of the sections of your myth, when you finally publish it. Check your punctuation in your story so far. Remember that all of the speech from one character just needs one set of speech marks around it. “Run faster! Run faster!” He shouted.
Sword & Sworcery
By Ellie-Mae
Chapter 1.
A long time ago, there was a mysterious village. Trees would sway left to right like old grannies wanting some water.The lambs were as fluffy as they could be. Above the sheep there was an unusual triangular shaped symbol.
In this place called Scythia a strange woman appeared. She was called Morza. She saw a shepherd called girl and she was very polite. She told her about the the cave and what it was. She said “it was once a mysterious cave and no one knows about it” She wanted to explore.
Then she found another track it took her to another place in the forest where she had to fight a feels whair wolf whith three eys she got out here sord that here dad had gave here de for he dide
Chapter 2.
All was cwiet suddly there was a scream”My husb” a ladeey said. Whiul she was skreemen there was a thunder storm that was cwiet freekeey .
Chapter 3.
Chapter 4
Suddenly it came dark and all she could see was tow ylairing red eys waiting to
Wow Ellie-Mae! 2hp. You have tried really hard with your story. It doesn’t matter that it isn’t very long, as long as you complete all parts of your myth today.
Remember to check your sentences and include capital letters and full stops. Also, make sure that it makes sense when you read it back to yourself.
Sword & Sworcery Tale
By Hayden
Chapter 1 – The start of a epic journey or is it?
As a murky war-ravaged battle zone ,stood proudly in a deserted countryside trying to stand out but failing badly, to emprise people who passed by without looking did not realise that had happened 1000 years ago.
Chapter 2 – Build up
Bawang encountered a young girl shepherding a herd of traumatised sheep who stood next to unloveable steel plated gate which guarded a legendary castle. As he talked to the girl she said to him about a mile away you will find a strong brave woodcutter he will show you the way for most of the way. But you have to watch for the strong powerful wolf then she left in a blink of a eye! Then a cloud of thunder start. As she left she told herself it won’t be easy but I will have do it in order to succeed after a little while he was in a weathered old village that had been there for 1000 years. As
He explored he noticed a door was open, as he entered there was a fire going she quickly reacted and scrambled out of the house there was a woodcutter he said don’t be afraid. As they were talking he said I will help you for a while then I will go home they strolled he stopped and she said what.
Look!! And there stood the wolf the the Shepard told my about I quick pull my sword and a epic battle had began after about 10 minutes I thought I never survive. After I traveled to a cliff face and sign I pulled my sword up and it opened what layed
Chapter 3 – Dilemma
As Bawang went into the cave, which no one had been in, he saw a statue of the DEATHLESS SPECTOR! He saw an opening. He went through it. It was dark ;the shadow moved he could only hear faint breathing. Bawang wondered whether this was real.
Suddenly it pounced onto him, he quickly pulled out his sword and stabbed him in heart and ran away
I was really enjoying this Hayden, BUT where is the rest? I can see that you have included dramatic sentences and good descriptions. 2hp. 🙂
It is your last session today so make sure you complete all of the parts to your myth. I think adverbial phrases will help you to sequence your writing. Check which person you should be writing in, first person is only used in speech.(Moments later,)
Sword & Sworcery
By Ryan
Chapter 1
Green all around her, it’s like a jungle! It was cold, and in the distance there were white coloured fluff. Coming up closer she found out that there were eight sheep surrounding her. The grass was thin, but only a little mud showed.
Introduce your character here (Scythian)
Chapter 2
The mist and the clouds were joined together because they were always descending. But these clouds were not white…
They were black, with little light surrounding Adimaster. Lightning struck, terrorfying the whole land with its roar. The trees were swaying rapidly like it to was trying to flee like the rest. The clouds were cavernous, covering the landscape. Adimaster was brave, always fighting through the rain.
Chapter 3
The deathless spectre was back from slumber and he’s gonna slaughter a lot of people no generosity, for he did not just kill, he took his preys skin and souls making him more powerful than ever. What with the skin though? This was confusing.
Chapter 4
Dark gloomy cave surrounding her, not one step thinking how dangerous this challenge was. Hovering at the stairs of the vast cave, she held her sword tight for the great peril that stood like a statue write be forth her. Skulls were everywhere, but for only one caught her eye, the mass greater than the others. The deathless spectre.
Suddenly, when the book of sorcery was lifted to freedom, there was a rumble of terror, her last words run. As a shadow hovered above her she got a glimpse of its terrifying eyes…
Wow! Ryan this is superb! 2hp. 😎
You need more descriptions for your opening, as this will help you to set the scene. Also try to add more details to help tell the story. For example, a villager might have told another villager about the deathless spectre. This would be a good way of including speech.
“I heard he takes people’s souls.” He whispered nervously.
Sword & Sworcery Tale
By Lauren
Chapter 1
In a calm and peaceful city, called Scythia, there was a small forest in the centre. The tree was like it was a dolphin swimming side to side trying to find its family and its friend. The leaves were whispering to each other.
Girl, who was a Scythian, liked adventures in damp and dark places. She set off on her adventure on a very hot day. She came across a Shepherd. The Shepherd was surrounded by white fluffy sheep that were all hungry for grass. After talking to the Shepard, Girl strolled off following the path that lay ahead thinking what will happen and who will she meet next.
Girl and her dog found a hut with a skeleton on the top like a warning, but that didn’t stop them from going in. When they got inside all they found was a cosy fire place that warmed the hut up. Above the fire was a clock that looked like it had been worn out a few years ago.”I wonder who lived here?,”said Girl to her dog. “If so when did they live here and who with?”
Chapter 2 – Build up
The sky turned dark black. The hearts of the villagers sank like their hearts were in quick sand. Baget (Girl) knew something was wrong, but what? The ground started to shake and trees shivered in the wind.what was it.? Was it the Deathless Spectre back again? Would we all be in danger?
A black shadow peered infront of Baget. She knew it was the Deathless Spectre. Pulling up her sword, she stared it in the eyes hoping to scare it off.(But she didn’t all she did was make the Deathless Spectre madder!!)
Chapter 3 – Dilemma
The dark and gloomy night lay above the Scythian. Mist hovered all around her. She could only see the mist and the darkness of the night. It was like she was in a box, nobody could see the Scythian and the Scythian couldn’t see anyone.
Under the vast and cavernous mountain of Mingi Taw, a cave hid. The air was damp. The Scthian was getting colder and colder. She knew she was being watched, but who by? She went inside the cave. The Scythian was ambling inside the cave. A black shadow lingered above the Scythian…
Chapter 4 – Resolution
She knew exactly who it was.It was the DEATHLESS SPECTRE!! Fortunately Baget knew that if she killed it, then all the people of Scythia would be saved. She had to do this because it was her falt that the deathless spectre was released.
Superb so far Lauren! 2hp. 😎
check that the story flows well. At the end of chapter 2 you mentioned that it was the deathless spectre. Could you have not revealed that information and built up the suspense for the reader. (“Could it be the deathless spectre?” She thought worriedly to herself.) Some parts may need a little more detail.
I think you all did very good with your writing. Remember capital letters and full stop and all the other ingredients your writing will be brilliant. Milly